- A very devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. First thing the cyclist asks is if there are bicycles in heaven. "Sure," says St. Peter, "let me show you," and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine. "This is great," the cyclist says. "It certainly is," says St. Peter. "You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you've ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always available." As they speak a blur streaks by them on the boards riding a gold plated bike. "Wow!" the cyclist exclaims. "That guy was so fast that can only be Lance Armstrong!" "No," says St. Peter, "that was God on the bike, he only thinks he's Lance".
- A swimmer at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. A swimmer in motion will tend to rest as soon as possible unless acted upon by an outside force.
- Trail Running is better than sex because it's good even if your running partner goes too fast for you.
- A triathlete shows up at the local race on a new bike. His tri friend asks, "Where did you get a new bike?" The triathlete replies, "Well, yesterday I was out running when this absolutely beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'" The second triathlete nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Have a great weekend all!