Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Public Service Announcement (The Rebuttal)


- Internet Police -
- Immediate Release -

The Internet Police today warned of the above-pictured man, Chris K, as a possible cyber bully. Long thought of as being the alter-ego of master Luddite Ted Kaczynski, authorities now suspect that the evilness runs much deeper than that.

Also known as "The Boston Strangler" for his repeated threats against the city on his blog, BQ or Die, he prefers the moniker, "The Dodo." Rumored to reside in a heavily fortified seaside mansion in Southern California, this man has rained his evil bile upon unsuspecting bloggers everywhere, though the usual target is a mild-mannered father of four and public servant, Kovas.

Urged on by his known associates Meg (She Runs A Lot), "Barefoot" Neil Z, and Tri-Gangsta Patrick, The Dodo has unleashed a reign of terror unequalled in history excepting for Robespierre and possibly Ronald McDonald. Consider the following photographic evidence:

Note international cyber bullying

Evilness clearly evident - parents, please shield young children's eyes

Scores of civic-minded bloggers have responded, calling for the foam roller treatment, with no punishment considered too cruel or unusual. In a comradely gesture, Intergalactic politicians joined together to enact a Universal Law that Chris K need not be unfashionably dressed in order to be mocked. A mommy blogger was quoted as saying "He doesn't deserve those pink compression socks! Can't someone take them away?" Kovas, being high-minded and respectful of opponents he has regularly beaten, simply replied with this: "Can't we all just get along?"

Bloggers worldwide are urged to circle February 6th, 2011 on their calendars, when Chris K has publicly stated that a grand gesture will be made. Public holiday or public humiliation, history will be the judge.


(PS Good luck at Surf City Chris - break a leg!) :)

34 comments:

  1. Oh the bile is rising in my throat already. Feb 6 cannot come soon enough.

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  2. I am confused, is Chris an example of The Dark Side or The Rebel Alliance?

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  3. ....I see you have been mulling over your rebuttal Kovas...impressive!!!!

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  4. just remember- for the right price I will perform extraordinary rendition on him if you need it. Nothing is too fortified.

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  5. Ahaha, thanks for making my Tuesday morning a little more entertaining :D

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  6. He flew by me once in Chula Vista screaming, "I'm in Heart Rate Zone 5 baby!!!"

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  7. Chris the Dodo... funny stuff!

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  8. Oh my gosh, this made me laugh so hard. That's it...I'm flying out to spectate at Surf City in my Team Kovas shirt.

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  9. LOL at "He upon whom it must not be rained"... classic.

    Do we need to chose up sides? Team Chris or Team Kovas?

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  10. Enough is enough.

    http://www.theroadmultisport.com/2011/01/everybody-is-star.html

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  11. Quite the pissing contest happening! You guys crack me up!

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  12. Mild-mannered? For the right amount of cash, I promise not to share the scheming Nancy Kerrigan plot.

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  13. Boys, boys... really...

    I will be in attendance at Surf City...maybe they should save a block of time on the stage at the expo for the grand gesture...

    the plot thickens...

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  14. hahaha! Your cleverness is off the charts!

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  15. Dumping on Chris is so 6 minutes ago!

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  16. who needs books, TV, magazines for entertainement? really following you 2 boys is plenty!!!
    I was supposed to be at Surf city race but son's bday and Super Bowl won over the race!

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  17. hahaha - CyberBullying!
    nice rebuttal

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  18. I am sure I have seen other "posters" with the mug before...

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  19. You two are great! I love the bantering!

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  20. Awwww... you two are so cute : )

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  21. Well, well, well, look at Kovas' new ploy for public sympathy. Whatever it takes. Geez, even I feel bad for such simply offering some playful banter. Obviously, this has affect you deeply. "Public Servant"? Puh-leaze.

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  22. Chris K seems like a great guy. Why are you being so mean to him, Kovas? (Time to have that conversation with the man in the mirror?)

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  23. This might be the most epic post I have ever stumbled upon! LMAO!!! I keep hearing about your guys' rivalry all over the place!

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  24. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  25. My last post is for you knuckleheads. Yes, I called you a knucklehead. I love that word.

    I will finally meet your nemesis Chris at the Surf City marathon.

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