Monday, January 31, 2011

All the Marbles


This is it, for all the marbles. The gauntlet has been thrown down, the die is cast, the players are known. The winner will henceforth be known as The Rajah of Running, The Titan of Triathlon, The Big Blogger. Three will enter, only one will remain.

That's right, the 3 Musketeers will set aside friendship, fealty, and sweet words for a mano a mano a mano cagefight duel to the death bitter end. On a chance comment by Andrew, the budding bromance of one for all and all for one is now torn asunder. It is on.


Between now and February 13th (or 27th, depending on source, apparently Canadians use a different calendar, perhaps based on the 1,000 Inuit words for snow), the three of us will grunt, groan, and sweat our way through the 2 Minutes of Slurpees Burpees contest. The podium order:
  1. Kovas
  2. Chris K
  3. Patrick
The explanation:
  1. No explanation needed.
  2. While he was voted one of the 2012 Endurance Hotties (no wait, that was me), Chris K  has suffered crushing defeat in the past and, celebrating his taper BQ at Surf City with an overabundance of adult beverages, will still manage to outdistance Patrick (ladies, rumor has it that he's commando under that toga, video coming soon!)
  3. Patrick, while the youngest, strongest, and newest member to these death matches, is a triathlete. What this means, is that he is a force to be reckoned with when challenged by a single activity. However, most triathletes struggle when faced with multiple tasks, i.e., the transition. It will probably take him more than the minutes allotted to figure out the steps needed. Plus, finding, purchasing, and customizing a Burpee unitard is probably not realistic within the time parameters. Last but not least, it is unlikely that Patrick will receive, in time, permission to compete from his support crew: coach, massage therapist, psychotherapist, proctologist, etc.
Gentlemen, you killed my father, prepare to die.

37 comments:

  1. I have no idea what you are talking about.

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  2. Wow, you guys play tough. I can't wait to see the video of Chris K doing Burpees in that toga. I expect many edited & blurred sections of video on Andrew's PG blog.

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  3. Hilarious--maybe I should join you and give you GUYS a run for your money :)))
    Have fun, Ann

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  4. The Burpee Thunderdome. Can't wait to see how it turns out. Looking up the Vegas line now ....

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  5. The burpee unitard... I seriously spit my drink out! Love it!

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  6. Ahahaha can't WAIT to see how this plays out. I'm gonna crush all of you anyway; My total = Your 3 totals put together :D

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  7. 1) I'm going to pretend Katie never made that comment. For her sake.

    2) I actually told you guys to bring it on, not challenge me to something that neither of you will have a chance of winning. I'm not even sure that I know what a burpee is, except it's Canadian and thus easy.

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  8. Patrick try to get those Blurpees as Aero as possible, may want to wear the aero helmet!

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  9. Ha! Love it! Bromance is put on the line for title of Burpee King.

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  10. I'm not sure who Katie is (how did she miss my blog? Apparently, I know everyone), but my money's on her. Nevertheless, don't forget the high jump at end of the pushup, Andrew had a momentary lapse of memory. I wouldn't want to see any cheaters from you three....that was a very funny sentence.

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  11. This is absolutely absurd and amazing, Kovas. Canadians are wily and unpredictable, so watch out.

    Is this going to webcast?

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  12. Hi Jill! I didn't miss your blog, I follow it :D I suppose I have yet to comment, I'm on it! Thanks for being on my side and my video demo included the jump at the end :)

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  13. Oh this looks too fun! I might have to enter and give you all a run for your money! I've never tried a Burpee but here's to learning how...

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  14. You young people think all of this is so easy. Well, it might be for you, actually. Bikini Burpees count for extra points!

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  15. Katie's got it in the bag then. Thanks for your video Katie. I'll have to get to practicing. But there will be no bikini burpees for me. Aww, come on Kovas, buck up...You don't look a day over 35 so stop playing the age card. ;)

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  16. Looks like I have a choice-point:
    1) Tie one hand behind my back to make it fair.
    2) Let Kovas win like I always do.

    Now Patrick is another story. That Dude scares me.

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  17. This major event needs to be broadcast!

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  18. And BTW Kovas, I wanted to compliment you on your daring use of a serifed type-writer font on your new blog header. Very cutting edge.

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  19. Serified is completely where it's at these days. I pity the fools left behind.

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  20. I say to level the playing field all of you should have the same kit, unitard, bikini over that and toga to top it off. Extra points for the most annoying outfit.

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  21. Is this going to be televised on the Ocho or at least Versus....since I can't find either until every cycling race is more than half over will Patrick edit the video and send to me PLEASE!

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  22. 3 musketeers? More like 3 stooges. My money is on Katie and EMZ. Girls are going to win this hands down.

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  23. I'll give you $20 if you three compete in a cop, cowboy, & utility worker costume!

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  24. I'm only checking in for updates if Chris takes his toga off and you shave your beard. And maybe Patrick could wear a thong.

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  25. If creative humor were factored in, I'd say you have an edge this year.

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  26. hahaha and I have another $20 on jims $20

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  27. Being that I am not a part of your elite blogging loop, I will have to place my money on you.

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  28. Way to throw down the gauntlet, Kovas! Something tells me this event can only end in tears....though, I'm not certain who will be crying the tears of joy and who will be weeping for their lost manhood. ;)

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  29. make sure you drink a lot of Coke. 2 min of burpees is going to take a LOT of burps

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